Today I write a message for gay youth. I am allowed to do that now. The thought scares me, but I am old enough to be your father. So feel free to pay no attention.

     The article appeared quietly on an inside page of the Sun-Sentinel not too long ago. With a soft headline and a mild tone, the writers said all they needed to say: that gay teenage sex is increasing.

     Younger kids, the article said, are becoming more accepting of homosexuality; of open and honest sexual partnerships with members of the same sex. Unfortunately, with all the knowledge in the world at our fingertips, the AIDS virus is still spreading amongst young kids. In fact, reports from the Center for Disease Control indicate that adolescent AIDS cases represent about 20% of all reported cases in Miami. We already know that Florida has the third largest cumulative total number of AIDS cases in the United States, behind California and New York.

     Of those adolescents that test positive for the virus, more than half identify themselves as young, gay, and bisexual males. While gay males between the ages of 15 and 19 are showing a marked increase in the disease, so too is there an increase in the virus amongst the classification of youths best known as neglected- children who are runaways, throwaways, or abandoned on the street corners of life. No matter how they identify themselves, as gay or straight, young men and women who are having sex for money or shelter are at the greatest risk.

     Starting sex education in secondary schools is too late. By then, some teenagers are already having sex and are at risk of HIV. Of course, many schools fail to provide sufficiently explicit information about HIV prevention to under-age pupils. This is partly because they fear for being sued by disgruntled parents for encouraging homosexuality or unlawful acts. So teenagers are out there making the same mistake adults sometimes do- thinking, but with the wrong head.

     Consequently, young kids are bragging about barebacking, engaging in anal sex without condoms. It has become popular once again. The new gay growth hormone in South Beach is a self-indulgent Calvin Klein cocktail- a combination of GHB, Special K, and Ecstasy. Reckless, rocking and sweating to house music at all hours of the day and night, with bottled water in hand, at least alcohol is out and fitness is in. But so is free, unprotected sex. When did "condoms" become a dirty word?

     HIV truly strikes you where you live. Its very means of transmission- sex- is what defines you as a gay man. In his stunning and critical book on gay life, entitled Sexual Ecology, Gabriel Rotello has accurately analyzed that : "Sex drives our politics and erotics, gives us our modern identity, provides the mortar of much of our community, and animates our lives. "

     Youth always believes it is invincible. You develop the "it can't happen to me syndrome". You are wrong. Sometimes you become the one. I know you never thought it would happen to you. It doesn't until it does. We are all immortal until we die.

     Of course, what is the message you get from the bar scene? I mean, just look at this magazine. Now don't blame us. We are just the messenger. But advertisers seem to suggest that constant, casual, anonymous sex and drinking should be every gay man's purpose in life. It is not. There is a great article about this by Vince Fesalbon in this month's XY Magazine, the newest and hottest publication for youth today.

     As young gay men and women are learning, there is a social acceptance of your sexuality today as never before in American history. You have the ability to be open without public censure, honest without becoming a social outcast. Take advantage of it in a healthy way. Make your presence heard and felt. Write articles. Form groups. Speak out in schools. Be open about safe sex. Force people to deal with you up front before you have sex. Do not be afraid to shake the boat. It will be sturdier for it.

     The most important thing you can do as an individual, young or old, is to be true to yourself. "Then," as Shakespeare wrote, "thou canst be a liar to no other man." As time unfolds, you will find your own space, and your own comfort zone. You are not in a race. If you win the rat race, all it does is make you the head rat. Maybe the mud turtle is the luckiest of all creatures. Maybe it is good to slow down, because you could be going in the wrong direction.

     Pedro Zamora left us a message that you do not have to be "Dying from AIDS". He tried to prove that you can live your life abundantly with it. But he also had another message: that you can live abundantly and longer without it. I don't think he meant for the AIDS industry to become permanent fixtures and advertisers in gay magazines and newspapers.